Why You Shouldn't Vote

Ah, election season. It’s a glorious time of the year, as it seems to be becoming an almost annual event in our community to see an election of some variety taking place. Perhaps this is why we seem to be experiencing some degree of voter fatigue, a lack of interest or excitement about the upcoming by-election that is prevalent enough that my favourite barista has no idea there is an election, and my neighbour seemed puzzled that a candidate for an election she knew nothing about knocked on her door. The voters are weary, it seems, tired of marking their x’s or filling in their little circles, and various groups are trying to encourage the electorate to get out and vote.

But not me. In fact I am going to encourage you to do the opposite. Don’t vote – not in this by-election, and not in the next election, either. In fact don’t bother voting at all – it’s time consuming, it doesn’t make a difference, it’s just one vote after all. Your vote is meaningless, really, just a drop in the bucket of voters who will cancel out your vote with theirs.

That’s right. Don’t vote. Instead, let me decide your future. Actually, let me and others like me decide it, because we are quite happy to do so, the ones who always vote regardless of our own weariness of lacklustre campaigns, shallow words and fallen-over campaign signs. Regardless of this tiredness, though, we are quite content to decide the future for this community – and for you.

Your lack of interest in voting plays right into our hands, you see. It allows us to control not only our destiny, but yours. You stay home and watch Netflix, and people like me will go out and quietly make the decisions you are too “busy” to make. It works for us if it works for you.

Alright, have you caught on yet that I am being a bit facetious? To some degree I am of course, because I believe every citizen of voting age has not only the right but the responsibility to vote – but if they choose not to exercise it then I am quite okay with making the decision for them as they have forfeited their option to do so. If you want to leave the decisions to me – and people like me – we are happy to make them for you. After all it only takes minutes of our time, it’s as easy as marking an x and we have helped to direct the future.

So, when you are thinking about whether or not to “bother” voting keep in mind that people like me are voting – and if you are okay with us deciding your future, so are we.