It started on Facebook, innocently enough on a local
Facebook page. This page does a great deal of good for those who use it. It is
fundamentally an online support group for moms in our community – a place to
ask questions, offer advice, and perhaps rant. The post that started it all was
really just a question, and the poster clearly did not intend or expect the
responses received, and so no blame should fall to her. In fact I don’t really “blame”
anyone – I just think we need to have a very serious think about all this. The
question? It was about a letter sent home from a local school indicating that
teachers of a certain grade level had gotten together and were asking parents
to not send their kids to school in costume on Halloween. The reason behind
this was to respect those of other cultures who do not celebrate Halloween. The
mom was simply asking if this was normal, or if it made sense, and what she
could do as her child was excited about Halloween. And the question was not the
problem, really. It was the mounting replies that began to horrify me, and
deeply worry me about this issue in the community, because it stopped being
about Halloween immediately and became about culture instead.
The responses, at least many of the initial ones, ranged
from “how dare those people demand we stop celebrating our culture” to (and to
me the most troublesome) “to hell with other cultures”. There was no
acknowledgement that perhaps no one from another culture had asked for this “costume
ban”, and that perhaps it was simply an initiative by some teachers who had
developed it independently (and not maliciously, as most likely they were
simply concerned about the inclusion of all students in their care). There was
talk of writing angry letters, or a petition demanding we retain the rights to
practice our culture. There was even talk of simply sending the kids to school
in costume and defying the teachers altogether. I don’t know about anyone else,
but I worry about the message this sort of defiance sends to kids – why is it
ok to disobey their teachers on one day but not on others? And why turn it into
a confrontation instead of a dialogue, beginning from a place of asking
questions (why are you asking them not to wear costumes? Was this requested by
anyone? Can we hold a class meeting to talk about the topic? Is there some
compromise we can reach?) instead of angry letters and petitions? I completely agree
with working to change the things you disagree with, but I believe in doing it
in a way that builds collaboration and community and pulls people together, not
apart, and I don’t believe in plain defiance (although that attitude may
explain those who ignore speed limits and stop signs).
And the sad reaction I witnessed last night was so
unnecessary, as no one was being denied the chance to celebrate their culture.
Halloween in the current incarnation has actually not existed all that long,
and much of history suggests costumes and trick-or-treating to be relatively
recent additions to our traditions. And this tradition (or culture, if you
wish) does not exist in many places other than North America, the United
Kingdom, and Ireland, being still considered a novelty in most of Europe (where
many Canadians, including myself, find our ancestry). And even if one considers
Halloween to be a vital part of our culture (and don’t get me wrong here, I
love Halloween) there was no evidence provided last night showing that anyone
from “another culture” had asked for costumes to be left unworn at school on
October 31. It was the immediate leap to judgment, the quick willingness to
blame “other cultures” that troubled me, and troubled me to my core.
People, take a look around you. This community is rapidly
becoming one of the most diverse in our country. Far more diverse than the city
where I grew up, the school the Intrepid Junior Blogger attends has students
who have come here from dozens of other countries. And the reality is that this
is not new in Canada, as my German great-great-grandparents came here as
immigrants, bringing with them their culture and traditions as they left
Germany behind for their new adventure in Canada. I still make cabbage rolls,
and I still sing ‘Silent Night’ in German every Christmas, and that part of my
culture and my sense of history is strong. And it is all of us – the Germans
and the Scots and the Irish and the Polish and the English and the French and
the Pakistani and the Filipino and all the rest from around the world are the
people who have been building this country, and this community, for decades.
This embracing of other cultures is not new, and it should not be feared – it should
be welcomed.
Do I think kids should be able to wear their Halloween
costumes in school? Yes, I do, but this discussion is clearly much larger than
that. There seem to be some who think our “culture” is under siege, and this
worries me (and I wonder if that is how the aboriginals of this country must
have felt when the Europeans arrived). We are not under siege. We are building
a community, together, and if we start from a place of “to hell with other cultures”
we will never finish with what we want – a strong, sustainable, vibrant
community filled with people who respect and enjoy each other.
Last night I posted a couple of comments on that post,
including pointing out that there was no evidence that this was anything more
than an idea floated by some teachers who meant well and likely didn’t expect
the backlash, and not some organized siege of our culture. I also talked about
the Intrepid Junior Blogger and how she has lived here almost her entire life, and
how it has made her “colour blind”, although now I realize I should have called
her “culture blind” – not blind to the existence of other cultures but rather
blind to any notion that one culture is better than another. She sees no
difference between those who are German or Pakistani or Japanese or anything
else – she sees, quite simply, a person – and it is because of this place of
amazing diversity.
There is no attack on our culture. I have never been made to
feel bad because I wished someone “Merry Christmas” and would never feel offended
if they shared greetings from their own holidays with me. Our culture is a
rainbow of so many cultures, with many of us having ancestry that stretches
around the world, and it is a beautiful rainbow that shines over our entire
community. I would hope that instead of outrage over such letters as the one
mentioned last night we instead begin a dialogue, a dialogue that may help us
to achieve a better understanding of each other, our cultures, and build our
community in a positive and collaborative way. And for the record I will never
allow comments like “to hell with other cultures” go unaddressed, because in my
life I practice the golden rule, and treat others like I wish to be treated,
meaning I would never want to be told my culture, whatever it happens to be,
can “go to hell”. We are at a critical point in our community, and as we
continue to grow we will continue to become more diverse and welcome even more
people from other countries and cultures. And this is why I write this post
today, because the sooner we can start this dialogue the better our future –
our collective, collaborative, cultural community future – will be. I humbly
suggest we start it today, as we have the chance to build something here that
will be a beacon of light for other communities around the world – but in order
to do that we need to open our minds, and our hearts, and never let the words “to
hell with other cultures” cross our lips, or our keyboards, ever again.
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