McMurray Musings' Resolution for 2012

I admit it. I am NOT a "New Year's resolution" person. I suppose it's because I see these kind of things, special days like January 1, as arbitrary dates. I don't see that attaching "resolutions" to them make them any more likely to be kept. I see it every year at my gym - after January 1 there is a sudden influx of New Year's resolution makers who show up every day for a week. Then it's every three days. By February they've disappeared entirely, until January 2nd of the following year. I suppose that's why I'm so skeptical of resolutions - because no one ever really intends to keep them.

This year is a bit different for me in many regards. I look back over 2011 and am slightly stunned at what I have learned. I didn't realize when I began this year how little I knew, and how little I had truly experienced of the world around me. I discovered a depth and complexity to life in Fort Mac that I hadn't even known existed. I made dozens of new friends, some of whom have become so very dear to me. And, most importantly, I found some things I am passionate about, things like community and the Centre of Hope and the Food Bank. And that's where the resolution began to creep in.

I didn't even see it coming, so apparently these resolutions are sneaky little things. It didn't announce itself, it just quietly formed at the back of my mind and then slowly moved into the front. What did it say? It said "You can do more".

I wasn't sure what it meant at first, but it didn't mean I could do more in terms of buying shoes or going to the gym. It meant I could do more about those things I am passionate about. It meant I could continue to write about them - but I could also put my time into them, time spent volunteering and helping in whatever way I can. That sneaky resolution knew right where to catch me, and it did.

So, my personal resolution for 2012? I'm not going to lose weight or join a gym or spend less or eat locally or grow my own food or start composting with worms. I'm going to listen to my heart and I'm going to volunteer my services and time with whatever group inspires me, captivates me - and will have me. I'm going to start to give back to a community that has given me so very much, particularly in this past year. And I'm going to do it not to write about it, or to convince anyone else to do it, or even for the groups I will volunteer with. I'm doing it quite selfishly for myself, for that feeling I get every time I am close to something I feel passionate about. I'm greedy about that feeling, and I want it more. So this resolution might think it is about doing something for others, but it's just as much about doing something for myself. This resolution might be sneaky, but us bloggers are much sneakier types. I might have made a resolution, but what my resolution doesn't know is that I'd already decided long ago that I needed to do this. It just happens to be starting at the same time as we begin a new year - and 2012 awaits, people. I will see you there, Fort Mac!